Trent's Birthday and Congolese Wedding Traditions

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 Sunday was Trent's birthday, and he had us all over for a party.  He made pizza, steaks, sausages, and there was pasta salad and yummy desserts.  I sat at the table with these guys...


Cory, Richmond, Leslie, Lionel, Dona and Blaise.  Richmond and Leslie are from Ghana, Lionel, Dona and Blaise are from the Congo.  We started talking about different traditions from getting married to doing dishes.  Blaise is getting ready to propose to his girlfriend in December.  They asked what it was like back in the states and I told them, Cory and I dated, he went and talked to my dad and then he proposed.  Here it is very different.  A man just can't ask a girl to marry him.  First, he will let the family of the girl know he is planning on proposing.  The family will assemble a list of items that Blaise must gather and when he goes in December he will present the family with the items. Then the father will give his blessing.  I asked Blaise what's on the list.  He said, "a goat, suit and shoes for the father, clothes and shoes for the mother, pans, and gift for the brother of the soon to be fiancé, and $3000".  That is to let the family know you are grateful for how they have raised the girl.  Blaise will come up with half of the money and items and his dad will help with the rest.  Then his dad will travel with him to Kinshasa (where she is from and is 1500 miles away) the go with him to the family. 

Leslie and Richmond said it is the same way in Ghana.  Then we started talking about the different types of marriages here and it is common for the husband to practice polygamy and have multiple families; but the husband doesn't necessarily have to tell all the wives about the other ones.  Blaise said he was in his home town one day and he saw a boy around 10 years old that looked just like him.  He went up and asked him his name and they shared the same last name.  He then asked who his father was and they share the same father. Blaise went home and told his dad, he met his brother today and his dad said, "Don't tell your mother"!  WHAT!? It is so crazy to me. Blaise's has 19 siblings and the oldest is 44 and the youngest is 2!!!!!!!!

We had such a fun night getting to know each other more.  Then Leonie brought out her chocolate cake she had made and it was delicious! 


  

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